You're such a f**king hypocrite.

[dejana]

(Subject line in reference to myself, of course, not anyone else. ;P)

The Good and Bad of NaNoWriMo

These are some things that have occurred to me over the course of this thing called NaNoWriMo. It's likely these are things that are incredibly obvious to everyone else, and I'm just the idiot who clued in last, but too bad, I'm writing about them anyway. :P

NaNo is about speed. Duh. Everyone knows that.

What's important are the implications of that mantra. Quantity over quality. A completed product over no product at all.

That does have its good side, which is pretty well-covered on the NaNo website. The cruel inner editor we all carry can be paralyzing. Many people will never write that novel they dream of because they'll always run into that wall of "I'm not good enough, I'm wasting my time on this." NaNo punches through that wall, and that's good. You produce something, in a situation where you would have had nothing. It's a starting block, a leap over that first hurdle, and for those who are a bit shaky on the writing thing (or the self-confidence department) it can be exactly what they need. It's for that reason that I do, and will continue to, react defensively when people in the industry bash NaNoWriMo and the writers who do it.

On the flip side, however, you have the people who already write reasonably well. If you know me at all you know how I am about ego, so it may surprise you to see me admit I believe I fit in that category. xP I know I'm not nearly ready for publishing (dear God, do I ever know that), but I'm not starting from square one either. I do okay. In my position, I find my inner editor to be more of a trusted partner than an evil overlord to be evaded.

It's been very hard for me to shut off that nagging inner voice - not because it's blocking me from producing, but because I'm producing crap and I know I'm producing crap. My NaNo is a giant pile of empty garbage, and it threatens to have the counterproductive effect of convincing me I'm hopeless at original fiction. I can't do my best when I'm speedwriting, and when I'm not writing something I can be proud of, I'm not motivated to write at all.

I'm still going to do my best to finish, because I think it would be good to have a completed novel under my belt - even if nobody can ever read it on pain of their brain melting out their ears. I'm just glad I picked a fluffy, relatively superficial story for this that I won't mourn too much over wasting. Who knows, I might be able to save it with extensive editing. But if I can't, I won't cry over it, and it'll at least give me a base level of practice for original work.

The saddest part is I'm pretty sure my first serious attempt at a fiction novel, five years ago, in college, before I got any practice or feedback through fanfiction, was better than the NaNo I'm writing now.

Speaking of fanfic, I'll stick my neck out and admit I've never been pleased with fanfiction being permitted for NaNoWriMo. Speaking as someone who's done both, writing a novel-length fanfic and writing a 100% original novel are not the same kind of accomplishment. They both take effort to do well, definitely, but they're not the same. When I mentioned this somewhere, it was pointed out to me that NaNo is not about the quality level of the work. I've always been one to argue for doing your best in all things, but now that I've given it more thought, I have to admit that's true. When the focus is on achieving a result, any result, the content of the product doesn't matter as long as it's done.

And that's good, for some. But I don't think that's for me.

(While I'm here, as of this Saturday we will be at the halfway mark, so this weekend I'm going to be pruning my list of writing buddies on the NaNo site. I think as of Saturday it's safe to assume anyone still showing a word count of 0 decided not to do NaNo this year, and since the site never fixed the bug that limits the buddies display page to 11, I'd like to see the word counts of the buddies who are participating. If I remove you and you want to be added back on, let me know.)


nanometer

16,614 / 50,000 (33.0%)

Comments

[faithfullove.livejournal.com]

Dej, I have found it helps me to look at NaNo being the first draft. There is no way I would let anybody read what I am writing right now. My inner editor sees the plot holes and the inconsistencies and the horrible grammar. To appease with the grammar I run the grammar and spelling editor once I am done for the evening.

As for what to do with it once done? I plan on re-writing it. In fact, as it stands now it will be at least 2 novels if not 3 when I have re-written it.

Why am I telling you all of this? To give you hope. You are a talented writer. Please remember that NaNo is not meant to be the finished product it is a first draft.

{{HUGS}} I was doubting myself Friday... and then a dear friend gave me a swift kick... I don't kick, I hug.. so look up... you can do it

[dejana.livejournal.com]

My problem is I have never written a first draft that was as bad as this.

Most of the time, I intentionally write my first draft by hand so I have time to think about each new sentence while writing the previous one. Since NaNo = word counts and word counts = typing, I can't even do that most basic first level of my editing process, and it leaves me pounding out empty words and sentences without really thinking or feeling what I'm doing.

So for me, I don't have the "this is just a first draft" sense of accomplishment, because I know I could be doing better, not in editing, but right now. NaNo feels like a step backward in my development as a writer, and I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to be that way. :\

[faithfullove.livejournal.com]

I understand. I really do. I tend to do my best writing on pen and paper. Something has just clicked with me this year I guess.

Keep that chin up. You could use it as an outline? (yes, I keep grasping at straws here.. LOL)

[csi-tokyo3.livejournal.com]

You know, I've always seen Seether's song "Fake It" as the song Luna would use as a stripper. :P It'd be her intro song, upbeat, relevant, and revealing. ^^

[dejana.livejournal.com]

o_O

[csi-tokyo3.livejournal.com]

*uses appropriate icon with glee*

[nephthysmoon.livejournal.com]

I like making jokes about my inner editor - that she's an evil bitch and she's messing me up, etc. I honestly don't find her to be a hassle, however. I cherish her, honestly.

I don't like my story. It's boring, lame and pretty much drivel. It has a few nuggets that truly entertain me, but the rest of it is pretty boring. Even spicing it up with random humor doesn't do much to save it.

You've said it before, and I will simply reiterate it: in some ways, dear, we are very much alike. I, too, prefer hand-written first drafts, and I consider my typed copy to be a vast improvement.

I'm trying to abandon criticism and just push through this story and have fun doing it, but this is one fic that will most likely never see the light of day after the 30th. I think it's good that I chose to do the fandom I did because I have almost zero chance of anyone in the fandom liking the story anyway, and it's not like this is FLOAP or anything like that.

As for the fanfic thing - I agree. I started by writing Original fiction when I was just a little girl, and reading back over some of it is truly, horrendously embarrassing, but at least it was my own work - and it is FAR more challenging to write. I will admit that I feel a bit of a cheat for not doing something original for NaNo. *shrug* For me, I wasn't about being an official participant, though. It was about the challenge of it. CAN I write 50k words, one way or another, in 30 days?

I don't know - we're not there yet. But you keep plugging along, and I will, too. <3

[dejana.livejournal.com]

Aww, it would be sad if you never posted yours. It's fanfic; why not?

I've been thinking even if I can't fix my novel enough to sell it, I'll at least offer it for sale on Lulu.

[jelynne.livejournal.com]

NaNo and I just can't seem to go hand-in-hand either, for much the same reasons as you've mentioned here. I can sort of see how this method of 'just get it on the page' might work for others, but when it comes to applying it myself... bleh.

So yes, I get exactly what you're saying.

[dejana.livejournal.com]

I saw your post shortly after I wrote this one, and was relieved to find other people running into this problem.

I like your alternative of writing 50,000 words in general, even if it's not all the same story. That's a good goal.

[sache.livejournal.com]

There is a reason why I keep putting the words "NaNo" and "vomiting" in sentences together. :-D

[misscheeveeuss.livejournal.com]

I think it's awesome when something starts out like crap.

As always, I'm gonna relate this to art. :P

My drawing teacher always tells us about Leonardo worked. There's a painting of his in a museum somewhere that lets you walk behind and see the back of the work. When you look, you see a million different lines. He drew so many lines because they were all wrong. But because he kept making all those lines and seeing what didn't work, he eventually found himself drawing the perfect line that he wanted. So, then he traced that line onto the front of the painting and got started on the thing he really wanted to make.

I think NaNo seems like all of those wrong marks. But you need them in order to find what's finally going to work. Even if a preliminary sketch, or draft, is really really bad, it doesn't matter. Only you see it.

And I think a lot of times, if something starts out kind of bad, you're all the more ready to make it better and into what you really want it to be. I know when I start something and it's coming along great from the start, there will ALWAYS come that point where I freak out that I'm going to ruin it, or I DID ruin it, and I get nervous about working on it more.

Crap is awesome for working with.

[dejana.livejournal.com]

This is more like Leonardo starting out by scribbling randomly all over the canvas, just so it wouldn't be blank anymore, and then trying to discern a picture from the mess.

As someone who really enjoyed making scribble pictures as a kid, it is possible to pick out something good that way. But when you're used to starting out with a reasonably good attempt at the drawing you want, it feels like a step backwards.

[misscheeveeuss.livejournal.com]

Pshhhh, who wants to always do things they're used to? I remember in one of my drawing classes my teacher telling us to do that scribble thing exactly. :D It's a different approach. It gets different gears moving. Sometimes it's so much better to get the scribble out, because it's going to capture a very basic, elemental aspect of what you're trying to do. It isn't completely accurate, it doesn't look finished at all, but it has something very important marked down.

It might feel like a step backwards when you're used to writing better things, but that's just your expectations. As someone trying to do creative things, it's always better to at least be making something rather than waiting to make something good.

[dejana.livejournal.com]

But the only reason I can't be doing better right now is I'm under this time limit. The idea is to help people who block themselves get their ideas down without barricading themselves in with the small stuff. But I don't have that problem, so it's kind of counterproductive on my end.

Blargh, we're not understanding each other here. I quit. :P

[misscheeveeuss.livejournal.com]

:P Time limits are nothing new. It's a pressure motive. Sometimes you don't like what you come out with, but you come out with something. I dunno, even if you're unsatisfied, it gives you grounds to work from in the future. If nothing else, this is an exercise in getting yourself to work faster, which is something I've definitely needed in the past.

[vayleen.livejournal.com]

I'm don't entirely agree with you on the fanfiction thing if only because plenty of people have gotten their literary fame from writing and publishing fanfiction novels, for fan kingdoms like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate, Dungeons and Dragons, etc. So I think it's a legitimate trade, and if people want to try their hand at making it big writing it, I say go for it.

Also, I've been writing original work for a lot longer than fanfiction and I think there are facets of fanfiction that are a lot more challenging than writing in my own worlds.

But I might be an anomaly. *shrugs*

[dejana.livejournal.com]

I didn't mean to imply that either type is more challenging, just that they're different. There was nothing easy about working all those canon details into AAO. ^_~

I've always been under the impression that published fanfiction was solicited work, that the copyright holders went out and requested books from certain writers. I could be wrong, though. And I'm sure it's different for different fandoms. But it can't be an easy field to break into, especially with everyone and their grandma writing fanfiction these days. I'd almost expect it to be more difficult to get published that way, even.

ETA: At random, I Googled the submission guidelines for Star Trek novels. They do accept submissions from first-time authors, but only through agents, and there are a ton of rules.

I think my take on the whole thing at this point is "fanfic in general may be easier to write, but it's harder to sell." Meaning, writing the type of fanfiction novel that could be published is more difficult than doing the same with original fiction. My overall point still being, though, that they're not the same.

[vayleen.livejournal.com]

But there are a lot of publishers that won't accept an original manuscript without an agent, or are more likely not to accept without an agent. Especially if one is trying to get a novel into a publishing company renown for accepting new york times best sellers.

My point was only I don't think fanfiction should be kicked out of NaNo only because it's a legitimate writing trade in the fiction world. I'm not saying that everyone who writes fanfic for NaNo thinks writing fanfiction novels is his or her calling, but I'm sure there are people who do.

[dejana.livejournal.com]

When I realized that all that matters for NaNo is word count, I understood that the difference between them isn't important.